TIME WASTED

BANG BANG

Vengeance is my mine—sayeth the reviewer of “Bang Bang” movie

I received two movie tickets for a DT cinema on purchasing some stuff in a mall. I had a choice between ‘Sex Tape’ and ‘Bang Bang.’ Alas I did the wrong Eenie meenie and selected ‘Bang Bang.’

It is sad to see in this movie how Hrithik Roshan has fallen in love with himself or rather his superbly chiseled body. No wonder his real love left him. I can imagine him working out in some posh corner of a secluded five star gym asking his trainer to give him an extra new muscle near the butt and another ripple near his nipple.

Perhaps he has forgotten that all the good actors the world has seen did not depend on their musculature to do their job. No one asked thespians of old to tear up their clothes so that the general public could see their six packs and biceps. It is sickening this fetish with the body at the expense of the intellect.

What a puerile story. It should be made mandatory in the future to reveal the story of the movie for the loving public before they enter the lock up of the cinema hall. What a sickening character in the grandmother of Katrina in the movie. Someone from the advertising world seems to have invaded the silver screen.

The movie is more of a travel video with an emphasis on Prague and London. Shots of Greece and Thailand are added as haldi and salt in a dal.

Hindi movies survive on good songs and dancing. There is one good song in which Hrithik insists upon pursuing his Unbalanced Kite act. I remember when I was younger I flew kites in the open fields of a big school behind our house. Some of these kites were unbalanced.  I had to pull on the string and recall the kite back to earth. It came back like a wild eel slithering and moving left and right reluctant to come down but unable to fly. I would judiciously tie a tiny piece of cloth on the left or right bamboo frame of the kite to correct the Jhupp as it was called. After that the kite flew beautifully. Sometimes in high winds we had to tie a cloth tail to the kite to make it stable.

Someone needs to change Hrithik’s dancing style and correct his Jhupp. It has become boring. That swaying motion as if he is trying to duck rotten eggs and tomatoes. When will this guy grow up?

Katrina on the other hand is beautiful despite all the bungling of the costume designer. She is a victim of the director and the story writer. She should be given a reward for surviving the molestations of this movie’s crew. The story is so implausible that it really makes you yawn. Yawn—Bank of Simla, Really, please someone could have thought for five more seconds more and come up with a better name. Whoever lives on 32 Rajpura Road in Dehradun should sue the film makers for changing the winter weather of Dehradun to that of Iceland.

Danny Denzongpa shines through the bad dialogue. The other cast I am sure is still licking its wounds.

If you like good movies please do not even go near a cinema hall screening this movie. I wonder when my nightmares caused by the tortures of this movie will cease.

Rating—minus three stars because I wasted three hours of my life in which I could have seen a better movie. Knight and Day could not have been this bad. They say Bang Bang is a clone of Knight and Day. Bad news always arrives in duplicate.